When do your lights flash red? Do you have a way to manage them? People often describe me as calm, reassuring, steady, focused, unbothered, and empathetic. It’s not inaccurate, but almost no one knows about my clenched fists and feet, my tight jaw muscles, my hypervigilance, my inner hermit always looking for the exits and solitude.
I absolutely love being the voice of reason and reassurance for people, and I wouldn’t change it. But there’s an important reason why I can be those things for others. I’m always and already providing them to myself, just to cut through deep anxiety. A classic strength/weakness paradox.
I know many other people also wrestle with forms of anxiety. It’s a sloppy, bulky word for countless senses of existential mismatch and threat. So what I am offering is a tool I have started to use to check in with myself before I fall into a sense of overload.
For me, anything over a cumulative total of 20 on my meter is a blinking yellow, anything over 40 is a blinking red, and anything over 60 is likely to put me on overload.
But knowing the factors that correlate to higher anxiety (some are leading and some are trailing) allows me to manage them before I get too anxious to do so effectively. I’m sure there are other factors I could add, but the idea is to be sufficient, not perfect. Besides, trying to make them perfect would be another overload factor.
If you experience anxiety, take some time to think about your red lights and when they start to blink. You start to become more mindful of them and discover ways to manage them before they start to lock up your ability to do so.
